Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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