if you like me you must not know who I am
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
