I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize