how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
