that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize