No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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