She announced her abortion via fbk
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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