i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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