Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
