we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
