After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
