Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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