Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
