Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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