I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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