After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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