So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
