so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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