everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
