that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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