i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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