oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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