The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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