Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
FUCK WHALES
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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