Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
