Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
