They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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