you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
