Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize