I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
