just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
