So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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