i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
