When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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