is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
