I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
