Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
