In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
