dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
