i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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