It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
