i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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