it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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