Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
