i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
