Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
