PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
