its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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