i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
