I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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