I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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