Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
