i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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