It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You're like the curious george of whores
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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