shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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