have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
How external is "for external use only"?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
