ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My ass is underappreciated
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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