I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
