just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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