I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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