Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
