We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
