you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
