yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
