This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Is it penis luge time yet?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
