Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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