I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
