i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
