normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
