Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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