I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
