All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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