p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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