just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
