I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
