shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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